November is National Adoption Month. There’s a great cost to
adoption, and I’m not just referring to the economic cost. There are fees to
pay and medical bills to pay, that’s true. I cannot tell you how many times I
cried before each adoption. I cannot tell you how many times I cried out to God
to just show me the way to my babies. I cannot tell you how my gut would wrench
when a birth mom would choose another set of adoptive parents, but God paid the
ultimate price. He was willing to sacrifice is His own biological Son in order
to pay the debt of all mankind, and yet many refuse Him, reject what He paid in
order to fend for themselves.
There are some children that once
they are adopted there’s still a battle. They struggle to leave their old life
behind even though they so desperately want a loving family. They fight against
the morals they are taught in their adoptive homes, leaning on their own flawed
understanding of how life is supposed to be lived. They struggle to acknowledge
the role of their adoptive parents, and this is heart breaking for adoptive
parents because all we want to do is love them. God’s children are the same
way. Some accept Him as their Savior but challenge Him every step of the way
showing Him that they don’t trust His way for their lives.
There are some babies who have
trouble bonding with their adoptive mommas. This is very common, and
heart-wrenching for those sweet mommas who want desperately to love those
babies. But these babies have already lost everything they know, and it’s hard
to trust again. These sweet mommas have to constantly prove themselves over and
over to these sweet babies that they will not leave them or forsake them in
order to build that trust. The relationship comes but over time, sometimes a
long time. Does this sound like your relationship with God? Is He having to
prove Himself to you over and over again? He’s faithful that way. He promises
never to leave nor forsake you. He doesn’t break His promises.
So you see, earthly adoption so
parallels the Father’s love for us, His adopted kids. He does this so we might
become co-heirs with Jesus. It’s a struggle that He so willing accepts for each
us. He pursues each of us and takes our lack of trust and molds it into a
relationship if we will allow Him and if we will put in the work.
Adoption isn’t for everyone. It is a
hard road. I never ever want to see another birth mom have to place her baby in
someone else’s arm and then have to leave her there. Gut-wrenching.
Heart-wrenching. Sobbing and weeping. There isn’t a dry eye around. But the
best thing we can do is to lay our children down in the arms of the One who
will see and has seen every day that is laid out before them, the One who has
every hair on their head numbered. And that is where we need to leave them.
When God adopts us, He loves us so much because of what He had to do to become
your Father, what He was willing to sacrifice. You can rest assured that He is
going to do what is in your best interest. You won’t always understand His ways
or His method, and that’s because you are His child. You don’t see the whole
picture. This is where that whole bonding and trust comes into play.
When a child is born, the birth
parents give the child a name, and it’s the name that goes on a birth
certificate. When the child is placed with the adoptive parents, the adoptive
parents give the child the name for a lifetime. My daughter’s birth family gave
her a beautiful name, but it isn’t the name we chose for her. Her birth parents
put careful thought into the name, as did we.
But she isn’t known by the name first given her. She is known by the
name we gave her as her adoptive parents. Are you seeing parallel yet? We trade
in our name as sinner for redeemed, our life without hope for a future with
endless hope. She is known by the name her adoptive parents gave her. Are you
known as the name that God gave you? Christian.
Adoptions are also sealed and
finalized. With both of our children, we had to go to court, stand before a
judge, answer questions, and swear to love and take care of our children. They
carry our last name. It doesn’t matter whether they look like us or not. It’s
their name that matters. God sealed our adoption in Him and gave us His name so
that one day when He calls us home, we will know all the privileges in full of
bearing His name.
Adoption isn’t for everyone. There
are some children who refuse to be adopted believe it or not. There are some
children who choose to live on the streets instead of living under a roof with
a family where rules are enforced for their safety. It’s sad, but true. And it’s
true with God. There are those who will reject Him unwilling to trust Him,
unwilling to try to build a relationship, unwilling to see the sacrifice God
made for them, and they will never live with Him in heaven because they refused
to be adopted by Him.
If God has called you to adopt, I
encourage you to pursue, pursue with all your heart. When the journey gets
long, know that the reward is worth the struggle. When your heart is bruised
and the tears fall uncontrollably, cling to the fact that God gives us the
desires of our hearts when He places those desires in our heart. If God has
called you to adopt, you love those babies God delivers to you. You be faithful
to tell those babies the miracle of how God brought you together to make a
family. If God calls you to adopt, journal because there will be times when it
seems as if God is silent, and it will feel so lonely. This is the time you go
back and read that journal to see how God has brought this far. And regardless
of what people say, you keep your eyes on God. He will reveal to you where you are
to go and what you are to do. Remember, He’s having to work it out for your
good, as well as, the baby’s good. And remember to breathe and give thanks. It’s
a journey. There’s a destination. And this is just a season. Seasons come and
go, and the next season of parenthood may just be beyond the horizon.
