I remember when we were in the middle of raising our twins, and I wondered if they were ready to “fly the coop”. My first thought was no way. But fly they did. Did they make mistakes, sure. So did I. But eventually empty nest has become a sweet time in life, filled with GRANDchildren and time to refocus on my man.
Someone told me early in my parenting days, make sure you love your husband more than your children, because in ideal situations you will be with him longer than you were with your parents or will be with your children. Even the judge who presided over our adoption of twin daughters told us to make sure we get away at least once a year, just the two of us, to focus on our marriage. Because we took that to heart, after 42 years of marriage, I can say, it was SO worth it. Our girls have been gone almost half of our marriage at this point, and if we had not intentionally stayed connected during the younger parenting years, I wonder what our empty next would be like.
Often, we wonder as moms, how well we have prepared our children for adulthood. Sometimes our children choose to head off in a direction completely contrary to what we taught them. Yes, scripture says “Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, HCSB) But what about in the mean time? What if your child strays?
Once you have done ALL you can to raise and pour yourself and your faith into your child, then you must take your hands off (not your love nor your prayers) and hand them to God…sometimes over and over and over again. It is not easy, but you will experience a deeper walk with Christ as you trust Him to work in your child’s life even if you cannot see it.
I experienced peace during crisis with family many times, and I can tell you it is real. And I can vow that I would not know my God like I too, nor trust Him as I do, if I had not journeyed this way.
Find someone who has experienced something similar to what you are facing if you are in a tough time. Ask some accountability partners or prayer warriors to pray for you and your family. Get in the Word and read the truths He has for you, like Romans 4:20-21, “ He did not waver in unbelief at God’s promise but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, because he was fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform.” (HCSB) or Psalm 143:8, “Let me experience Your faithful love in the morning, for I trust in You. Reveal to me the way I should go because I long for You.”
God will walk with you every step of the way. If you trust Him with your life, certainly you can trust Him with your heart and your child.
If you are a woman who has a friend in crisis with their child, check out this article:
10 Simple Ways To Help Mothers Of Prodigal Children, or check out the resources, Women Reaching Women in Crisis
Chris Adams.
Women’s Ministry Specialist, LifeWay Christian Resources
Nashville, TX
Great advice, Chris! I have known couples who, when their children left home, looked at each other as if to say, "Who are you?" And turning those little chickadees loose will do wonders for your prayer life!
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