Proverbs 22:6, says we are to train up a child, so when he is old he will not depart from it. Parenting is a long distant goal, but we do things daily to reach that long-term goal of raising godly children. This blog and facebook page is set up to encourage parents, especially moms, giving ideas of how to effectively teach our children, giving practical lessons on life, and finding humor wherever we can.
Friday, July 19, 2013
When Momma Bear Wants to Come Out...And It's Not to Play by Cynthia McCutcheon
When Momma Bear Wants
to Come Out…
(And it’s not to
Recently both of my boys (Okay, young men that are 21 &
18) have gone through a deep heartache.Really couldn’t only one have been enough?No. Both got to experience it.As a mom, I silently cried with them, prayed
over them, talked with them for hours upon end and wanted to step in and fix it
for them.I know I couldn’t fix it even
if I tried but that didn’t change the fact that I desperately wanted too.
One afternoon after watching my son sit under a tree in 100
degree heat with a breaking heart trying to figure out all that had happened, a
rare feeling that hasn’t come over me in a long time sprang forward.
If I was watching in a mirror I know I would have seen the
hair stand up on the nape of my neck, my shoulders pull back and my fist
clench.Although I had not seen her in a
while I knew that the momma bear in me was jumping forward ready to defend her
The scowl on my face revealed the thoughts rushing through
“How dare they hurt
“Who do they think
they are telling him he is not worthy of them?”
And on and on the thoughts sprang to mind.
Yes, I even thought about implementing new rules such as
Inside I ranted and raved and listed all the ways this
person was wrong.Sadly I judged their
character, motives and yes even their walk with God.
I became so wrapped up in my thoughts that I began letting
them out to my son.Some of them he
agreed with and they made him think and help process the situation. Then there were others that
didn’t sit too well with him like
my prayers had changed and instead of things to be worked out that he would be
released from it.Yep, he didn’t like
that one too well at all.
Then after I began to cool down and probably after a large
healthy dose of chocolate (that can happen right?) momma bear began to calm and
Why do momma bears come out when our young are
threatened?Are we helping or
hurting?It can be situational
especially when they are young, but as they age should we try to tame momma bear
I began to consider what are some ways that we can help our
children deal with heartaches?What are
some ways that we ourselves can deal with them going through heartaches?Yes, the old adage is true…When your kids
hurt, momma hurts too!
So here are some things I came up with, and I hope that you
will add some as well.
1.Consistently have a steady walk with God
daily.Seeking Him and His guidance for
2.Cover your children in prayer daily not just
when crisis arise.Ask God to draw them
close to Him so that when troubles arise they will know He has it in His
3.Allow your child to talk to you about the
situation at their pace and don’t smother them...
especially boys.I am fortunate
that my boys will eventually talk to me but in their time.
4.Make sure you always point them to God and His
5.Thank God for His provision and protection over
your child.You never know that the
situation of the heartache was God’s protecting hand.
6.Let your child grieve at his or her own
pace.Lovingly encourage and be there
but don’t try to rush them out of it.(Unless you see unhealthy signs.)
7.Don’t turn against the offender with
hatred.Pray for them as well.
8.Above all give it to God and let Him handle it.
My husband gave me some good advice about dealing with
situations.He said “Don’t let your
emotions rule you, let God.”
When we take that advice that momma bear---well, she’ll stay
Now, let’s hear how you’ve dealt with the heartaches of your