Friday, August 23, 2013
God Promises a Lot of Things to His Children...by Kimberly Colvin Snuggs
God promises a lot of things to His children written in His book to us. In Jeremiah 29:11, He promises not to harm us and to give us a hope and a future. In Exodus 14:14, He promises to fight for us if we are still. Isaiah 40:31 says if we have hope in the Lord He will renew our strength and we can run and not grow weary. And one of my favorite promises of them all is in Philippians 4 when God promises to provide peace that transcends all understanding if we will not worry or be anxious. I haven’t found the promise yet that life would be easy. In fact God says “you will have trouble in this world” but yet another promise is that He has overcome the world.
My family has been on quite a journey the last 18months. I have never held so tightly to God’s promises for me. My now five year old daughter, Avery, was diagnosed with leukemia in February of last year. Just after her 4th birthday and after a perfect well doctor’s visit, she developed sudden bruising. We immediately got her checked out and heard the words no parent ever deserves or expects to hear....”she has cancer.”
Our hearts were crushed and our world at that moment was turned upside down. She has been through more in the last 18 months than most of us can say in a lifetime. She has been poked and prodded over one hundred times, has lost her hair twice, and experienced the horrible side effects from chemotherapy that everyone hears about. And through it all, God is using the strength, bravery, and faith of my five year old daughter to teach this momma some pretty special things.
I think back to last summer and a day that Avery had to go to clinic to get chemotherapy. This particular chemo is given in the form of two shots. Avery had received this drug several times before and with each administration it became more difficult for Avery to be willing and cooperative for the shots to be given. The three nurses that it would take to hold her down came in and that is when Avery lost it. As the nurses are preparing her legs, Avery is screaming, “No, mommy. No, mommy. I don’t want to. Please mommy no. It’s going to hurt. I don’t want to do it.” My heart actually aches. She isn’t telling them no but is telling me no. She wants me to make them stop.
I am her mom and the one that is supposed to be able to take all this away from her. But I can’t take this away, so all I do is squeeze her hands close to her chest. I have my mouth near her ear and as her tears mix with my tears on our cheeks, I whisper close to her, “I know baby. I know you don’t want to. I know it’s going to hurt. I just need you to be still for just a while. It will be over in just a minute. I love you baby girl. Mommy loves you so much.” It feels like an eternity, but it lasts less than a minute, and after the Band Aids are in place she clings to me again. I pick her up, and she rests her head on my chest. Her sobs finally begin to die down. I tell her over and over how proud I am. “You are so brave, Avery. You did so well. I am so proud of you.” She rests in my arms clinging to my hand, and she never lets go as she drifts off to sleep.
What an amazing picture it painted for me of my heavenly father. I remember day one of this journey pleading to my Father, “No, God, no. I don’t want to do this. Please God no. I don’t want to do it; this hurts too much. I can’t do this.” But God whispers in my ear and cries with me, “I know my child. I know you don’t want to. I know it’s going to hurt. I just need you to be still for just a little while. It will be over before you know it. I love you my daughter. Your Father loves you so much!!!” And all I can do is cling to Him. I’m not mad or angry at God for choosing Avery to have to go through this. I just have to hold His hand and trust He knows what is best for my girl. And I pray one day I hear the words from my Heavenly Father…”You did good my daughter, I am so proud of you.” God promises His children so much, but commands much of us as well. I will continue to trust and to be still and let God fight for me. It’s the only way I can survive this journey. “I will cling to you; your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:8 and I will “Be still, and know that I am God,” Psalm 46:10